Light the lanterns…I have arrived Kathleen Dean Dec 28 2014

English: Chinese lanterns in the nightsky of L...
English: Chinese lanterns in the nightsky of Lijiang, Yunnan Province, China (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Light the lanterns…I have arrived Kathleen Dean ~ Dec 28, 2014

Your memories called out to me; I walked to your heart and found my own.

I almost imagined your smile; like an unfinished letter, it was impossible to call you back.

At your death, they painfully denied my request to go with you.

“Is it the fare?” I asked. “There is enough money.

Maybe I need to get my bag packed first.

Do I need to call anyone? Why can’t I go too?”

The guardian at the door stood silent not answering a single question.

Then replied,

“I must turn you away is not your turn, not yet, some day.”

Despite his remark, I decided to wait feeling that if he saw my pain the Almighty might change his mind.

I shouted,

“I will grab a brick and break a window!”

I was prepared to explain what a wonderful husband you were. Surely, he will understand how much I will miss you.

“I am willing to pay the fee.”

No amount of money or tears will bring you back. Truth is you have never left.

I move on through the days and nights opening up each one carefully with the knowledge that I would find a glimpse of your, our, life.

There they were I eagerly started toward them. Our wedding day; the first thing I saw was you sitting in the ER at Mercy Hospital because you had rice stuck in your left ear.

English: Traditional street lanterns
English: Traditional street lanterns (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The nurse laughed, “So you’re the reason I could not sleep, all those cars that were being driven up and down my street blowing their horns. Maybe I ought to leave that rice in there.”

We felt so lost when the bank manager rejected our request for a loan. We had applied in not one, but three different banks to purchase a home. To think they claimed we were too young.

Grandpa Brown told us not to worry, “Buying a house was like catching a street car. Another one would come along.”

A month later, we were able to get our dream place along the shores of Knox Lake.

Not all doors open up into a pleasant memory. There are some where no one answers my calls for help. In my darkest hours, I sense thee,  by smell of laughter mixed in with shades of light as the sun peeps over the trees.

Shaking off depression I feel more than hear a voice,

“This will work out you are not alone.”

So far, I have managed not to do myself in, cause an accident, or bodily injury. Some mornings I must look like the wicked witch of the west though.

It is amazing what a bath and a little make-up can do for a body.

“So where do you think you’re going?”

Ramadan lanterns from below, Road 9, Maadi, Ca...
Ramadan lanterns from below, Road 9, Maadi, Cairo, Egypt (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

…I do not know.

I was beginning to believe that there were no more rooms left… all vacant, all dark.

Pain lurks in the shadows, I have found book of matches that will light my way.

There are many days and years ahead for me. They are pointing towards tomorrow, carefully selected.

Light the lanterns. I have arrived.

 
 

*Wowsers, we did it together..86,879 views all time…announcement features artistry of Colin Hall

Dear hearts, we did it  86, 879  VIEWS all time.

A special thank you1469897_517979288300810_78784646_n (1)ch

to all the guest authors,

social media contributors

and especially to you

dear readers, fans, family and friends….

you rock.

Artistry by Colin Hall

November 2012 we were  57,841  views all-time…that is a lot of loving,  sharing, and caring in one year….  almost 30,000  which averages 73 folks a day  encouraging to a hermit shut in writer.

That love has helped me heal.  This year I am mobile, walking and establishing communications with folks of all ages.  Thank you dear hearts, you truly rock.

Days of Dragonflies remembered in December…

red dragonfly
red dragonfly (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Dragonfly under the apple tree

 

It doesn’t happen often

But I could see it coming.

I had been fasting and creative.

My heart was humming.

I needed to change the pace.

I needed some fresh air.

I needed anything

not  to be waiting

inside in  on

beautiful summers day

in my rocking chair.

I went for a walk under the apple tree

Close up of a dragonfly on a Lotus Flower Bud ...
Close up of a dragonfly on a Lotus Flower Bud on green background – IMG_7149 (Photo credit: Bahman Farzad)

I told the Inner Master

“I need a hug Zee.”

In the next breath, 

much to my surprise, 

Came a beautiful dragon-fly

dancing before my eyes.

WahZ its you

It is you ?

Is it not?

How wonderful you came 

In the form of a dragon-fly

To have a visit.

My heart was lighter

I laughed the rest of the day

English: Dragon fly മലയാളം: തുമ്പി
English: Dragon fly മലയാളം: തുമ്പി (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am surrounded by beauty

Within and without all along my way.

By this wonderful gift of love

in the form of a blue dragon-fly

 

 

 

 

Slipping out the back door…

English: Gates of Paradise, by Ghiberti. Batti...
English: Gates of Paradise, by Ghiberti. Battistero di San Giovanni (Florence). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
English: A decorated door from the Tibetan Nam...
English: A decorated door from the Tibetan Namdroling monastery, southern India. Date: December, 2003 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you remember at the summer dance

Holding hands with your first romance?

How you longed to slip out the back door.

Well, for me I feel like that.

I do not want to leave in a thunder’s roar.

I want to go…in silence out the back door.

I am ready.

There are no bags to pack.

I am not certain

I have completed my mission.

It is that knowledge I lack.

But like the Man said

“If you are wearing skin

and not a pair of wings

You best be serving Source

until your death knell rings.”

So, upon a winter day I ponder

Have I done all I came to do?

How long will it be

till that sacred back door

comes into view?

What kindness have I forgotten?

What service can I give?

I know I have so much to learn

Your direction I shall not spurn.

So,  beloved Source,  let me

practice your presence,

Giving love  in all I say and do. 

Till I slip out the back door to be with You. 

English: It is a wooden door used in rural Punjab.
English: It is a wooden door used in rural Punjab. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

 

Roman folding doors from the Villa of the Myst...
Roman folding doors from the Villa of the Mysteries in Pompeii. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Snowy Sunday solitudes’ of silence soliloquy

English: Dog out for a walk in the snow Dog ou...
English: Dog out for a walk in the snow Dog out for a walk on a snowy Sunday in Braemar. Taken in the car park facing the church that can just be seen. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
English: Snowy Sunday in Necton Taken at junct...
English: Snowy Sunday in Necton Taken at junction of Rams Lane and Hale Road 11.30 am. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
English: A snowy Sunday in Bedhampton Looking ...
English: A snowy Sunday in Bedhampton Looking from garden in Woodstock Road towards houses in Talbot Road (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How do you explain the beauty of the silence

of the snow to someone who needs the roar of the ocean?

How can you explain the comfort of a fireplace

to someone who needs 80 degree weather?

We are all travelers now.

One moment in the midst of the storm…

the next in its protective eye.

It is all good.

Nothing needs explaining.

{If it does, then you are with the one whose questions will never stop.

I was there.

Now when  counting the blessings

I have in my life…I start with you.

One of them, dear heart, is you.

You are the inspiration for my 

Snowy Sunday solitudes’ of silence soliloquy

Now that is a good sized snow shovel at Calgar...

I dance among the stars……

Northern lights
Northern lights (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)
Northern lights
Northern lights (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)
Day 152 - "Know where to find the sunrise...
Day 152 – “Know where to find the sunrise and sunset times and note how the sky looks at those times, at least once.” – Marilyn vos Savant (Photo credit: StephenGA)

The breeze caresses my cheek,

as I look to the sky.

 I have to keep looking, longing

seeking out that one constellation,

(and I don’t really care why).

That special star,

the colors growing, 

glowing at sunset,

and often till sunrise too.

 I feel the answers are within and skyward.

  I miss the home planet don’t you?

Beloved Friend

purple rose of cairo

 

Of all the husbands I ever chose
You are as rare as a purple rose.
Your voice excites me.
Your mind makes
My heart unfurl
Entrances me.
When I dream of
You
(and I do by the hour)
There is a great
Roaring fire
Your friends gather round
What a beautiful sound.
You talk there for hours.
There is music and laughter
Love in your voice.
I am joyful you are in my life
Thinking of you gives my day
A magical start
Did you know
Your way of life
Opens up Soul?
Having you for a friend,
My beloved,
Gives me a glow.

Mary Helen Ferris

My love for you (a note from Z to thee)

Sundogs
Sundogs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
English: Sundogs in Fargo, North Dakota. Taken...
English: Sundogs in Fargo, North Dakota. Taken February 18th, 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Sundog Morning
Sundog Morning (Photo credit: kdee64)

Did you hear the love

in the song of the wind

in the snowy pines last night?  

Did you bask in the glow

of the starlight sky as  I covered

you with an incredible blanket of  light?

Did you hear my voice in the laughter?

Did you see my beauty in the clouds?

 I wanted  you to dance and sing,

I waited for your song out loud.

I painted you a rainbow in

n the snowflakes as they  fell.

My love is deep and vast for you,

there are no words to tell.