Light the lanterns…I have arrived Kathleen Dean Dec 28 2014

English: Chinese lanterns in the nightsky of L...
English: Chinese lanterns in the nightsky of Lijiang, Yunnan Province, China (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Light the lanterns…I have arrived Kathleen Dean ~ Dec 28, 2014

Your memories called out to me; I walked to your heart and found my own.

I almost imagined your smile; like an unfinished letter, it was impossible to call you back.

At your death, they painfully denied my request to go with you.

“Is it the fare?” I asked. “There is enough money.

Maybe I need to get my bag packed first.

Do I need to call anyone? Why can’t I go too?”

The guardian at the door stood silent not answering a single question.

Then replied,

“I must turn you away is not your turn, not yet, some day.”

Despite his remark, I decided to wait feeling that if he saw my pain the Almighty might change his mind.

I shouted,

“I will grab a brick and break a window!”

I was prepared to explain what a wonderful husband you were. Surely, he will understand how much I will miss you.

“I am willing to pay the fee.”

No amount of money or tears will bring you back. Truth is you have never left.

I move on through the days and nights opening up each one carefully with the knowledge that I would find a glimpse of your, our, life.

There they were I eagerly started toward them. Our wedding day; the first thing I saw was you sitting in the ER at Mercy Hospital because you had rice stuck in your left ear.

English: Traditional street lanterns
English: Traditional street lanterns (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The nurse laughed, “So you’re the reason I could not sleep, all those cars that were being driven up and down my street blowing their horns. Maybe I ought to leave that rice in there.”

We felt so lost when the bank manager rejected our request for a loan. We had applied in not one, but three different banks to purchase a home. To think they claimed we were too young.

Grandpa Brown told us not to worry, “Buying a house was like catching a street car. Another one would come along.”

A month later, we were able to get our dream place along the shores of Knox Lake.

Not all doors open up into a pleasant memory. There are some where no one answers my calls for help. In my darkest hours, I sense thee,  by smell of laughter mixed in with shades of light as the sun peeps over the trees.

Shaking off depression I feel more than hear a voice,

“This will work out you are not alone.”

So far, I have managed not to do myself in, cause an accident, or bodily injury. Some mornings I must look like the wicked witch of the west though.

It is amazing what a bath and a little make-up can do for a body.

“So where do you think you’re going?”

Ramadan lanterns from below, Road 9, Maadi, Ca...
Ramadan lanterns from below, Road 9, Maadi, Cairo, Egypt (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

…I do not know.

I was beginning to believe that there were no more rooms left… all vacant, all dark.

Pain lurks in the shadows, I have found book of matches that will light my way.

There are many days and years ahead for me. They are pointing towards tomorrow, carefully selected.

Light the lanterns. I have arrived.

 
 

Days of Dragonflies remembered in December…

red dragonfly
red dragonfly (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Dragonfly under the apple tree

 

It doesn’t happen often

But I could see it coming.

I had been fasting and creative.

My heart was humming.

I needed to change the pace.

I needed some fresh air.

I needed anything

not  to be waiting

inside in  on

beautiful summers day

in my rocking chair.

I went for a walk under the apple tree

Close up of a dragonfly on a Lotus Flower Bud ...
Close up of a dragonfly on a Lotus Flower Bud on green background – IMG_7149 (Photo credit: Bahman Farzad)

I told the Inner Master

“I need a hug Zee.”

In the next breath, 

much to my surprise, 

Came a beautiful dragon-fly

dancing before my eyes.

WahZ its you

It is you ?

Is it not?

How wonderful you came 

In the form of a dragon-fly

To have a visit.

My heart was lighter

I laughed the rest of the day

English: Dragon fly മലയാളം: തുമ്പി
English: Dragon fly മലയാളം: തുമ്പി (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am surrounded by beauty

Within and without all along my way.

By this wonderful gift of love

in the form of a blue dragon-fly

 

 

 

 

The Sleeping Porch ~ Kathleen Dean ~ Guest Author as we celebrate 84,000 views on this blog

 

Sunbursts Peaking Through The Forest Canopy

THE SLEEPING PORCH by: Kathleen Dean

Somewhere in the fringes of my mind

are visions of a quieter time

ready to whisk me away

to the secret places of the heart.

The imprisonment of daily living

cries out for solitude

amongst mountain hide-aways

that are only found in my dreams,

where they are tucked away,

clothed in shades of green and earthy smells

that can tingle the senses.

Gradually the cares of this world diminish,

for one-by-one I have given them wings,

lest their grief might linger.

My soul has been turned over

to a passage of time not governed by man.

Slowly, I choose not to look

back to any regrets of the day.

I find myself seeking comfort

that only my Heavenly Father can give,

He so willingly fills up

those empty places in my day

Opaque visions begin to take shape

as this body releases its busy schedule called life.

You live up there Lord

and I down here on this earthen floor.

Scenic Alaska Mountains
Scenic Alaska Mountains (Photo credit: Accretion Disc)

How long have I hungered

for this mountain hillside,

Mountain Hillside
Mountain Hillside (Photo credit: MixedUpMedia/Mari W)

crowned with laurel in honor of summer.

Where wild grape vines grow,

hanging from branches

lopping ever downward

to reach to the ground.

They beg to be swung on.

The physical presence of nature is everywhere,

helping me to shake loose the trappings of this world.

Standing quietly on a narrow deer trail,

I want to move on knowing I cannot go back.

There just isn’t enough time Lord

to walk every footpath.

In my youthful years I didn’t realize

the distance I would walk as an adult.

Tenderly, my hand reaches out

to touch cool water collected in a basin

carved in a solid rock by Mother Nature‘s tears.

English: Middle Tor Rock Basin Thought to be f...
English: Middle Tor Rock Basin Thought to be formed by the action of frost and wind. See http://www.legendarydartmoor.co.uk/rock_basins.htm (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Licking the moisture from my finger tips

I choke up inside for the loss of words

to describe these emotions that I feel.

“Ahhhh” just “Ahhhh”

escapes from my heart.

Once more I have been blessed

to find this sleeping porch

surrounded by the windows of God.

I have found your place where your breath

Fern bed under a forest canopy in woods near F...
Fern bed under a forest canopy in woods near Franklin, Virginia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

continually washes over me

as needed sleep overtakes this human body.

No longer am I shackled

by thoughts of sorrow

for these precious moments

with you have provided

the rest my soul so desires.

Dear God,
Thank you for this sleeping porch and the peace I have found within it. Help me to forget past mistakes Lord. There is a better way, and easier one, I am sure only now, I cannot find it without your continual guidance.
The story behind the poem…
The Sleeping Porch by: Kathleen Dean Written late summer 2007 after the lost of my father, Art Brown.
We have all had those days when you wanted to scream “I am just so tired Lord.” Or “Oh, for the enjoyment of peace from worries for just one day Lord.” Do not feel discouraged. Our Heavenly Father has promised his faithful children rest from turmoil if we but follow him. The here and now: Exodus 33:14 “And he said, my presence shall go with thee and I will give thee rest.” He invites us to come to him: Matthew 11:28-29 “Come unto me, all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest. And for the future: Revelation 14:13 “Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth; Yea saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors; and their works shall follow them.” God will give us peace of mind when we call on Him in faith believing. But where will we go to find this peace?
English: Author:Robert E. Nylund Source:Person...
English: Author:Robert E. Nylund Source:Personal photos (Nov. 2005) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
In the early mid 1900’s many homes had a porch that one could rest on for the afternoon nap or for a visit after dinner with family. Usually there was a front porch plus a screened-in porch that was located at the back of the home for more privacy. Our wringer-washer and tubs sat on our back-porch. The front porch was a wee-bit fancier. Besides the usual table and chairs there were a few stands for flowers and a comfortable rocking chair. At one end of the porch would be a long Davenport placed near the living-room window. It was waiting, inviting, for someone to take an afternoon nap or possibly even to sleep there all night when the weather was hot and sticky. This outdoor room was an extension of the home. Most people referred to the closed in room as the sleeping porch. This is where my idea for “THE SLEEPING PORCH” came from. One evening my heart was heavy with burdens. I needed some of peace in my life and found it in our Heavenly Father’s sleeping porch.

Slipping out the back door…

English: Gates of Paradise, by Ghiberti. Batti...
English: Gates of Paradise, by Ghiberti. Battistero di San Giovanni (Florence). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
English: A decorated door from the Tibetan Nam...
English: A decorated door from the Tibetan Namdroling monastery, southern India. Date: December, 2003 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you remember at the summer dance

Holding hands with your first romance?

How you longed to slip out the back door.

Well, for me I feel like that.

I do not want to leave in a thunder’s roar.

I want to go…in silence out the back door.

I am ready.

There are no bags to pack.

I am not certain

I have completed my mission.

It is that knowledge I lack.

But like the Man said

“If you are wearing skin

and not a pair of wings

You best be serving Source

until your death knell rings.”

So, upon a winter day I ponder

Have I done all I came to do?

How long will it be

till that sacred back door

comes into view?

What kindness have I forgotten?

What service can I give?

I know I have so much to learn

Your direction I shall not spurn.

So,  beloved Source,  let me

practice your presence,

Giving love  in all I say and do. 

Till I slip out the back door to be with You. 

English: It is a wooden door used in rural Punjab.
English: It is a wooden door used in rural Punjab. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

 

Roman folding doors from the Villa of the Myst...
Roman folding doors from the Villa of the Mysteries in Pompeii. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Snowy Sunday solitudes’ of silence soliloquy

English: Dog out for a walk in the snow Dog ou...
English: Dog out for a walk in the snow Dog out for a walk on a snowy Sunday in Braemar. Taken in the car park facing the church that can just be seen. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
English: Snowy Sunday in Necton Taken at junct...
English: Snowy Sunday in Necton Taken at junction of Rams Lane and Hale Road 11.30 am. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
English: A snowy Sunday in Bedhampton Looking ...
English: A snowy Sunday in Bedhampton Looking from garden in Woodstock Road towards houses in Talbot Road (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How do you explain the beauty of the silence

of the snow to someone who needs the roar of the ocean?

How can you explain the comfort of a fireplace

to someone who needs 80 degree weather?

We are all travelers now.

One moment in the midst of the storm…

the next in its protective eye.

It is all good.

Nothing needs explaining.

{If it does, then you are with the one whose questions will never stop.

I was there.

Now when  counting the blessings

I have in my life…I start with you.

One of them, dear heart, is you.

You are the inspiration for my 

Snowy Sunday solitudes’ of silence soliloquy

Now that is a good sized snow shovel at Calgar...

May I be…

Soul Quest
Soul Quest (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Today may I be…

fine tuned instrument 

of the love song of Soul.

This is my quest,

this is my goal.

More like Thee

Less like me.

“Today

may

I

be

fine tuned instrument 

of the

love song

of Soul.

This is my quest,

this is my goal.

More like Thee

Less like me.

Help me to do thy Will 

always and all ways. 

 


“Today

may

I

be

fine tuned instrument 

of the

love song

of Soul.

This is my quest,

this is my goal.

More like Thee

Less like me.

Help me to be loving

patient and kind.

Live in the moment

leave the past far behind.

“Today may I be…

fine tuned instrument 

of the love song of Soul.

“Today may I be…

fine tuned instrument 

of the love song of Soul.

“Today may I be…

fine tuned instrument 

of the love song of Soul.

 

Master, may I serve?

Sunshine
Sunshine (Photo credit: zamboni.andrea)
Sunshine
Sunshine (Photo credit: Emdadi)
sunshine
sunshine (Photo credit: huntz)

Today, 

may I,

dear Master:

serve with love

serve with purpose

stay in the

moment of surrender.

Treat all with your love.

Smile with your grace

May I serve dear Master

With a smile of

love on my face.

May my eyes

reflect your

wondrous peace

May my heart

be open

by listening

for another

Soul’s release.

May I stand

in the gap

for my brother

so bold

who in practicing

freedom

sleeps in the cold.

May I practice

your prescence

in all I do

and say.

May I act with love.

May you have

your own way,

dear Master.

Let me serve.

Just for today.