Thank you Mother for the things you taught….thank you Mother for the things you forgot.

 

MotherSnapshot_20110812_18I have surrendered all that I am

To the great I Am.

That is the only way

I know

How to make it

through today.

Today, it is  the beginning of a journey

I never ever wanted to make.

A day without you.

A day without the family surrounding each other.

A day that alternately swoops over me.

A day that sustains me.

A windy cold day in the Southern part of Alberta.

A day to begin an adventure.

A day to rejoice.

A day to revitalize and remember

A loving Mother.

Who is “free at last”.

“My goodness gracious

Child, your actions drive me wild.”

I need not sit too long

being introspective.

Your love is always with me.

My spirit not quite resurrected.

How to face the face that faces the day.

Oh, yes, dear Mother….

I will remember to pray.

I will remember the lessons.

I will remember the joy.

I will honor your life by forgiving

all the times I did not start the day with thinking of you.

I will honor those you loved

by sending them a hug

by giving a smile

by making my day

without you here

A day that is truly worthwhile.

Thank you Mother

for the things you taught.

Thank you Mother

for the things you forgot.

Thanks my Mother

for teaching me living.

Thanks beloved Mother

for a reason for giving.

 

Now, I can wash my face and put on a smile of remembrances.

Thanksgiving 2007

Reflections of Mother

Good Grief

Inconsolable grief

Image via Wikipedia

34.31 x 18.25" (61.75 x 46.36 cm)

Image via Wikipedia

Grief
Image via Wikipedia

I want to scream

How could you

every month on the anniversary

(of my parents passing

they passed 60 days apart)

  I want to scream at the calendar

How is this possible

I am just starting to smile

from the anniversary last month

Where in hell does time

go between these dates

I clean, I scrub,

I shovel, I laugh and I cry

but just when I am

climbinmg up from the abyss

that date is here to say

hello…..and hi…….

where in tarnation

am I getting the reserve to carry on

is it from watching others

 how they cope

is it knowing my beloveds are

“at peace“

 I am full of hope

How in hell can I

make it through

another anniversary date.

I really do not know

  do you

Christmas everyday.

Christmas  felt  like a play rehearsal.

The stars,  my parents, were missing.

You  had  already gone to  Broadway.

Act One, had already been performed .

Your  work here was done.

Because of your love and your life

It is,  for me,  Christmas everyday.

Some moments,  do not feel like presents.

Some moments,  I feel stuffed and overfed with grief.

Some hours pass,  now,  when I refuse to believe you are gone.

Some moments,  I feel your presence.

 

Those  are the moments when you nestle in my heart.

 The  goodness of your intentions,

Your  laughter and your inventions

take hold,  giving  me a new start.

Then,  it becomes  Christmas everyday.

 

I send you love on your Journey.

I embrace your memories.

I embrace your memories.

That makes everyday Christmas.

 

 

It is morning…no mourning

pa0700081

Mother and Mary         Photo courtesy Thomas Quantz    Thanksgiving 2007   Calgary Alberta 

The Sunlight of the Spirit pours over Soul.

The healing is happening.

I,  now,  with months of heart felt mourning

I am beginning to feel whole with the morning.

The breeze is full of your Love

The breeze is full of your Love.

I am hurrying and scurryng

Not allowing my self time to feel.

The preparing of the garden,

The raking of the lawn

Picking out the new blooms this year….

Makes your passing less real.

It tears at me that you are gone.

I focus my attention

On the task in front of me

I ask for love to cool my brow

I miss you so much in the garden.

I miss you so much now.

I miss you desperately.

I dry my tears

Get back to work

I hear the distant train.

“I love you my dear daughter

Here is a kiss upon the breeze.

Know that the garden is lovely

Give the other children a squeeze.

Tell them that I am healing here

I am sitting in the sun

I am basking in the Sunlight of the Spirit

I have my tea and sing my song.

I am so blessed

To have stood the test

It really is such fun

To actualize Soul’s desire

Reflected in God’s Holy Fire.”

I shake my head

For I heard the words

Spoken clearly in my heart.

I place the rake, hoe and the gloves

Give my back a stretch…..

In that moment

I receive

Your Love upon the breeze.

Thanks Mom

You always knew what I needed.

Thanks for the breeze.

Thanks for teaching me

God’s love was always

Waiting in the garden.

As I child,

It drove me wild

When you would send me out to weed.

I never knew at the time

That I was also taking out the weeds

Out of the garden of my heart.

I stand now my arms outstretched

Surrendered to the song of the Wind….

“Your Mother is always with you when you

Remember the lessons she taught.”

I walk in peace

Now less distraught

Thankful for the hug in the Wind.