Thank you for this sleeping porch and the peace I have found within it. Help me to forget past mistakes Lord. There is a better way, and easier one, I am sure only now, I cannot find it without your continual guidance.
The story behind the poem…
The Sleeping Porch by: Kathleen Dean Written late summer 2007 after the lost of my father, Art Brown.
We have all had those days when you wanted to scream “I am just so tired Lord.” Or “Oh, for the enjoyment of peace from worries for just one day Lord.” Do not feel discouraged. Our Heavenly Father has promised his faithful children rest from turmoil if we but follow him. The here and now: Exodus 33:14 “And he said, my presence shall go with thee and I will give thee rest.” He invites us to come to him: Matthew 11:28-29 “Come unto me, all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest. And for the future: Revelation 14:13 “Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth; Yea saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors; and their works shall follow them.” God will give us peace of mind when we call on Him in faith believing. But where will we go to find this peace?
In the early mid 1900’s many homes had a porch that one could rest on for the afternoon nap or for a visit after dinner with family. Usually there was a front porch plus a screened-in porch that was located at the back of the home for more privacy. Our wringer-washer and tubs sat on our back-porch. The front porch was a wee-bit fancier. Besides the usual table and chairs there were a few stands for flowers and a comfortable rocking chair. At one end of the porch would be a long Davenport placed near the living-room window. It was waiting, inviting, for someone to take an afternoon nap or possibly even to sleep there all night when the weather was hot and sticky. This outdoor room was an extension of the home. Most people referred to the closed in room as the sleeping porch. This is where my idea for “THE SLEEPING PORCH” came from. One evening my heart was heavy with burdens. I needed some of peace in my life and found it in our Heavenly Father’s sleeping porch.
Both of my parents loved the autumn. They died within 60 days of each other. I had not dealt with the grief. I needed to go to the mountains. I needed a rock in my pocket. Here are the ramblings and tumblings of words in grief as I journeyed to find that rock. Not knowing I would return to this place of grief and growth often, and especially in the autumn.
I watched the sky. I wondered ‘why?’ I watched my pain Formed into rain. It renewed the earth as it fell. The earth sprung up Into the mountainous skies. The beauty of the mountains acted as shards to Soul. I caressed the shards with my eyes; wanting them to cut deep.
Cut away the loss. The peaks were covered with misty fog. The peaks were covered in rain. The peaks were breathing in glorious snow. I was very jealous. I needed to feel that connected. I wanted to lie on the top mountain peak. I wanted to caress the forest’s floor. I wanted to know. I wanted to be. I wanted to be real. I craved renewal and purpose. I needed to be free of the pain of your passing. I wanted to feel. Stillness. Freedom. I longed for a mission. I had to have the compulsion to go onward. I did not feel anything like that at all. Then the Sun came out. It silhouetted the trees Covered them in a raindrop-halo which glistened. While they danced in the breeze beauty poured over me, Beauty bombarded Soul,beauty went through me. I drove away whole. Now in the rear-view mirror I have my direction. I will return to the mountains I will walk through the valleys and peaks. I will do the next ‘right thing’. I will be a mountain or raindrop. Depending on the day. I will be in touch with my life. I will learn to say “no” To the needs of another When my own needs are intense. I will return to these mountains when I need to get in touch With my departed parents Whom I longed to hold so much. I put a rock in my pocket.
I remember on the home planet….or maybe it was just HOME…there was unconditional love. Now I am in a physical body. I am here to learn human love. I know at the Soul level unconditional love. I need to learn at the heart level….human sharing and caring… the HU-man love. I need to start this day over. I need to start with surrender.