There BUT For the Grace of God Go I…..Fran Blackwell



BUT For the Grace of God Go I...


BUT where?

What does this mean, meaning escapes

true understanding…

Is this a statement of relief?

Or perhaps judge not less you be judged…

Like,  watch those thoughts, they come

back and bite you in the end endless possibilities go on


there but for the Grace of God

to experience this or that is by Gods grace spared me,

dodging this bullet, but if someone experiences something

that leaves me thanking God for sparing me

does this me I am blessed with the Grace of God

and someone else was not so blessed?


Spare me O God, remember, only the good die young

and I have been round the block many times without number,

and as the ancients gather to find shadows on the dark side

of the moon, I am left to explore what

grace is, and even more disconcerting if

If I know what God is,

why don’t I know what Grace is? Good question right?


One I do not know the answer to, close

as I can come

to is to say perhaps the point where

the heart accepts and executes surrender to Gods will be done, 

that point, that moment, is the execution of the Grace of God.


So in any given moment what spares one

Soul or another

in an event that would leave another

feeling the relief, of it

being spared begs the question, What

is the “determinative” factor?


This brings many suppositions in to consideration.

Past choices, lessons learned, lessons earned,

what a Soul needs for Its next step spiritually.

So much to contemplate, that Soul

comprehends this truth,  only God knows.


As I pause in this moment at the cross-road of divinity,

the mysterious is erased by the smile

of an understanding heart…

I get IT, I think, or at least a small glimpse of this anyway…

It matters not what something is, or who has Gods Grace

or even an understanding of anything,

what matters most


is how greatly we love and serve and

accept ALL the gifts

God blesses Soul with, they are

designed just for each of us

individually down to the last detail,

and as wise men say

God is in the details.

So suffice it to say, There Only

WITH the Grace of God Go Eye

to eye…

No buts about it.

Ballad to the drunken husband

Love-Lies-Bleeding, Tassel Flower (Amaranthus ...
Love-Lies-Bleeding, Tassel Flower (Amaranthus caudatus) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


My love for you



bleeding on the cabin floor.


I have surrendered

it to you


for a century or more.


I have loved you


with a love divine.


But now


I have



To know


You have never

been mine.


The demon whiskey,


and the seducer rum


Stole you away from



in the setting sun.


My love for you



bleeding on the cabin floor


Good bye my darling husband.


My life now serves me more.


English: A modern build of a squared log cabin...
English: A modern build of a squared log cabin. Logs were milled square for this build. It serves as guest quarters. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)




Never searching…always knowing


Photo credit Zita Marie B.
(“Relation-shits“, relationships, this is about a relating-ship of many lifetimes)

Always knowing.

Never searching.

She knew

He was  her friend.

Never searching.

Always knowing.

On him she could depend.

Always knowing.

Never searching.

She dreamed him in the night.

He was waiting.

Never searching.

Always knowing.

She’d be on the distant shore

He’d stop searching.

He’d be knowing.

She’d  be beside him…


He dreamed her into sight.

She was waiting.

Never searching.

Always knowing.

The Joy

that was meant to be.

Never searching.

Always knowing.

Together they had sailed

the cosmic sea.

Always knowing…

Never searching…

For music was the bond

That guided them along.

Always knowing

Never searching

They sang each others song.


Morning thunder

English: Intercloud lightnings over Toulouse (...
English: Intercloud lightnings over Toulouse (France) Français : Eclairs intra-nuageux sur Toulouse (France) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I remember those

bygone mornings

with thunder in my head

I could not remember

where I had been,

who I was with,

and for certain not what I had said.

I no longer dance

with demon rum,

nor his enticing friend whisky.

I can be myself with laughter

replacing the thunder mornings instead.

Now the thunder in my morning

Is a wondrous electrical storm.

I watch it out my window

whilst I stay safe and warm.

The thunder in my spirit dances now with glee

As I watch the Creator dancing in lightning across the sky.

Oh,  yes,  the thunder morning of a storm  truly beckons me !


English: Lightning 1882
English: Lightning 1882 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Suitcases and rose petals

My daughter and I found this while shopping ye...

Rose petals on the stair case.

Rose petals down the hall.

Rose petals leading to the sauna.

Rose petals on the garden wall.

The petals of the roses

Are now blowing in the wind;

As are  all the promises you gave me

 The night you took me in.

Why did I fall so deeply?

Why did I ever fall at all?

What was in

the  rose-covered suitcases

You had waiting in the hall?

English: The white rose
English: The white rose (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

THE BIG inning….MR HUSBAND n HERSELF *humour in marriage and other arrangements

English: Dijon mustard Maille Originale, 213 g
English: Dijon mustard Maille Originale, 213 g (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A start of something new….


When I was asked in all seriousness

“What do you think

our problem is in our marriage.” (By Mr Husband)

I replied

 “Anyone who would put ketchup

on their balony…..does not deserve an answer. “

(Thinking  I am right  it only deserves mustard and I am not flexible on this)

Wonder if I am too rigid?

oh oh   he is so  gonna edit this and add a letter in front of “rigid:.

Young Son and Spirit (con’t) At the breaking of dawn (unedited same courage and respect)

oh spirit,

oh biggest model of me and my species,

I remember all your love,

I remember all light

that you put in my heart

in all those days

that a nation was humiliating me,

oh spirit,

I remember some

but not all.

because being human

is the only thing

that divided us….you and I.

I see better

and hear better,

nothing has changed

about my eyesight

or my ears.

but I was able

to make

a better 


 and this

has changed everything!


Oh dear heart, happy Journey

Author wearing balaclava covering all of the h...
Author wearing balaclava covering all of the head, except the eyes. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Like a thief in the night

You left without warning.

After the anger subsides 

I think there will  be mourning.

What was so difficult about staying in place?

Why could you not share what was so hard to face?

Oh dear heart, happy Journey.

There is one thing I think you should know

You will face yourself one day, eventually

No matter where you go.

You were the last “family of origin member” I had left.

One day my heart will not feel so bereft.