How can I put Heart in it?

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The Urn Burns (All Souls Procession)
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How can I put “heart” in it
When my heart is broken
From saying too many good-byes.

Some folks were wrenched from me.
Some were adopted out.
Some moved away.
Some forced themselves out of my realm
By their actions, abuses and scorn.

When I get past the anger
Will I just then quietly mourn?
Or will I take the high road
Basking in the bliss
Of knowing those who have translated
Are now safe at Home?

Can I be forgiving
Of those so full of scorn
Knowing that they “know not what they do”
Their friendship I no longer will mourn

Why am I so willing
To turn the other cheek
When I want to rip their guts out
For the harmful words they speak.

When do I know the “Is-ness”?
Am I living in the “now”?
How do I put my heart in it
When my heart is full of pain?

How long do I have to wear
Clothes when I want to dance in the rain?
I think I will jump the time-track
Collect my laughter, joy and peace
Release all this emotion
Of sorrow and pain
To give me the energy to make baby quilts again.

Soul is not is this sorrow
It is just the emotional self
So I perceive, dear Master,
I can choose to put this
Mind stuff on the shelf.

My Elders are with you now.
It is natural to feel alone.
I only need to focus
Keep my eyes on
The Purpose
The Goal
Sit and do nothing.
Bask on the Heavenly Throne
Let Spirit have the control.

I need to be in the moment
I need the Is-ness of now.
I want to be without an agenda
But I really don’t know how.
To live in the love and the mercy
To bask in knowingness NOW.

Grief is part of living.
Letting go is all I must do.
Acknowledge that life
Is just a series of lessons
That all things are a gift.

I can reach out to another
Who is still stuck in the fog.
I can be a ‘server to those whose serve’
Knowing that I, also, am one.
I can and will reconnect with life
I can live in the Heart of the Master
When my heart is too full of pain.
I can release the morass and the dross
I can be whole again.

Service is the key.
Giving love in all my actions.
Dedication in all I do.
Being mindful of another
Will help me see it through.

Thanks for this talk dear Master.
I am blessed to hear your Voice.
I can laugh through the tears
I can run through the years,
As long as I am listening to your Voice.

Let me always be listening
To the Sound of the Rain
Of Spirit as It washes over me
Making me whole again.

May I always be in the Spirit of the Fire.
May the Flames purify me.
May I serve with Desire.
May I give this day my Intention
To be all that I can be
Then I can put my Heart in It.
Then Soul can be truly free.


Why pick the jerk?

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Two trees
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Why does the talented vibrant woman
pick the jerk?

Could it be he is compassionate when there is no audience?

Could it be he is Mr Right?

Could it be he is “Mr-Right-Now?

There are many reasons to pick the jerk

I used them all.

I allowed myself to be used by them.

I value myself today.

I was a jerk to myself to not adhere to the warnings.
I was so busy enjoying the warmings.

Now,it is a narrower path…more serene…sometimes filled with memories of the jerk.

Perhaps, I picked them for the adventure.

Perhaps, I will open my eyes instead of my thighs next time.

Or perhaps I have learned the lessons.
Now, I can stand alone with the Creator.
Now, I can stand up for myself.
Now, I can be alone with the Alone.

I will continue my affair with all of life…
All my life.

I will take the risk.
I will believe in romance.
I will pick the jerk.
Given half the chance…
Oh, being a crone is a marvelous time.
There are lessons to learn.
All of them mine.