I never counted on that

Zugspitze von der Alpspitze aus gesehen. Links...
Zugspitze von der Alpspitze aus gesehen. Links der Jubiläumsgrat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Lower AuSable Lake in the Adirondack High Peak...
Lower AuSable Lake in the Adirondack High Peaks. Taken in the summer of 1996. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Česky: Dvojice horolezců při sestupu sněho-led...
Česky: Dvojice horolezců při sestupu sněho-ledovým kuloárem. Malý Ľadový štít, Vysoké Tatry, únor 2006. English: Two mountaineers descending a snow/ice gully from Malý Ľadový štít in Vysoké Tatry mountain range. February 2006. Français : Deux alpinistes descendent un goulet de neige du Malý Ľadový štít dans la chaine des Hautes Tatras. Image prise en février 2006. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Fannie Bullock Workman, mountain climber, died...
Fannie Bullock Workman, mountain climber, died 1922 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I came here

for the experiences of loving and learning

I came to be

a wife, a mother, a lover and a friend.

Everytime I fell in love and married

it was to be  forever.

Never factoring in

the babies that would not be born.

Never factoring in

the lives that would be lost in war and accidents.

Never factoring in

the disappointments, illnesses and divorces.

Never factoring in

that forever was often never in the plan.

I came for

the learning, listening and loving.

There had to be

all the other things along the way

to polish the diamond I would become under pressure.

There needed to be in my case,

the addictions, the abuses, the manipulations, the lies.

Had I not been planted in those circumstances

I would have not had the opportunities

To struggle

To search

To go within myself

To find out who I am

To know my self as Soul

No, I never counted on that.

Now that I have found

the being, knowing, seeing place within

I can take the slings and arrows on the chin.

I can fall in love just for the experience of being a relationship

That is like a sensory deprivation chamber

That takes all I have, all I can muster up to give

To leave me empty.

Open for “Next”

No, I never counted on that.

I believe that I am a mountain climber…..

When I am in the valley

As I am today

I can look about 

For the beauty of that first spring flower

I can look with me

to see the new struggling sprout.

The bitterness of winter has come and gone at last

I have survived  your loving  I am freed of the past.

No, I never ever counted on that. 

The quiet and the stillness of my beating heart

Overwhelm me with the joy,

the sacred knowledge of a brand new start.

The solitude that learning brings

The service I can be

The giving of my love to life in general

Sets my spirit free.

No, I never counted on that.

It is my ‘experience, strength and hope’

That give me the listening ear.

That is my service to my path.

That keeps me full of cheer.

I listen with my heart.

I listen with my head.

I listen to keep me learning

Full of more hope than dread.

No, I never, ever counted on that. 

So all of you beloveds who have come to make my heart sing

Know that the lessons you taught me have more value than your ring.

No, no, no…. I  never, ever counted on that.

 

9 thoughts on “I never counted on that

    1. Your gift of love and compassion in your friendship are greatly appreciated………blessings to you and yours for your continued support….and encouragement.

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