Time for Letting Go and Letting God…with artistry of Colin Hall

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“Daddy, I will miss you. It is time for you to go My tears they are for happy . I just want you to know.

I see the angels coming.They want you to be in peace I release you now my Daddy. My love for you will not cease. “

Then, the little girl bowed her head.

“If you miss me too much Daddy,  as I am going to miss your touch…just send for me my darling Daddy. I won’t want to stay here long. I love you, oh so much.

Then she opened her eyes …watched as the angels took him home. She loved him. She forgave him. She did not want to be alone. She knew he had stayed too long.

 Then she thought she  could hear him singing with the angel’s throng. “If, heaven’s not my Home Oh Lord, what will I do.”

How would her family move on?  How could she be there for them , when she could hardly be there for herself?

There was no mystery. She had to do what she had to do. Stay clean and sober. Go to meetings. Work on the steps. Talk with other addicts. Deal with it with her sponsor. Talk it over with the Creator. 

The grief would linger for many a year. She wanted to be with him. She shed many a tear. She wanted the pain to end. But she waited and she prayed. Till her Higher Power gave her sweet release. Then she knew, as her Father had done, a sweet surrender…a blessed peace…a the setting of the sun. 

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Hey Dad, Is heaven your Home?

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Photo - Sonny Galea- Wild Wilderness Photography      Jasper National Park

Your birthday is coming.

I won’t be making our birthday call.
We would always sing  together

“If heaven’s not my Home,
Then Lord, what will I do”
Now your birthday is coming
You have crossed the Great Divide.
I can almost hear you singing with
The Angels by your side.
Give Bonnie a kiss
Share with Mother a hug
Go run with Skitter
The dog who would bug
You and nuzzle you when you were so young
I am listening to your words dear Father
There are more words to be sung.
I have learned to make the earth plane my heaven
I am dancing and singing, still don’t go to bed at eleven.
I am living the life you always wanted for me.
I am sober, happy, joyous and free.
So my dear Father, I just want you to know
You have taught me that I can make heaven
Wherever I go.
Are you happy?
Do you have lobster?
Is there any Earl Grey tea?
While I am sitting here writing this
Are you giggling with glee.
I know that we had a very special connection.
Hey Dad, is heaven your home is not interjection
.

Christmas everyday.

Christmas  felt  like a play rehearsal.

The stars,  my parents, were missing.

You  had  already gone to  Broadway.

Act One, had already been performed .

Your  work here was done.

Because of your love and your life

It is,  for me,  Christmas everyday.

Some moments,  do not feel like presents.

Some moments,  I feel stuffed and overfed with grief.

Some hours pass,  now,  when I refuse to believe you are gone.

Some moments,  I feel your presence.

 

Those  are the moments when you nestle in my heart.

 The  goodness of your intentions,

Your  laughter and your inventions

take hold,  giving  me a new start.

Then,  it becomes  Christmas everyday.

 

I send you love on your Journey.

I embrace your memories.

I embrace your memories.

That makes everyday Christmas.

 

 

Meet me in the Sunset

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Photo credit    Anne Marie Kiyawsew

Meet me in the sunset
Dance with me in the rain.
Hold me in your heart dear
Till I am in your arms again.
We have waited many life times
We have travelled many miles
We have waited for each other.
I guess we can wait a little while.
So until I meet you in the sunrise
Until we kiss as lovers do
I will send love to you my darling
Knowing love will see you through.
Meet me in the sunset
Dance with me in the rain.
Hold me in your heart dear
Till I am in your arms again.
Your eyes hold so much laughter.
Your heart is so full of pain.
Do you not know I am waiting
To be with you again?
I know not the time or season.
I only know you will receive.
I know only this my darling…
You only have to believe.
There is always someone caring.
There is always someone who knows.
There is me my little darling.
Who cares wherever you go.
Meet me in the sunset
Dance with me in the rain.
Hold me in your heart dear
Till I am in your arms again.
So, tonight, in your dreams, my loved one:
Be sheltered in the love
Of all of those who love you
Both here and up above.
Meet me in the sunset
Dance with me in the rain.
Hold me in your heart dear
Till I am in your arms again.
I will wait for you forever.
Our love was meant to be.
I love you so much darling
That I will always let you be.
Your freedom is my gift to you.
Your laughter yours to me.
So in the twilight of your life
You can come home to see
That I loved you since forever.
Forever, yours I’ll be.
Meet me in the sunset
Dance with me in the rain.
Hold me in your heart dear
Till I am in your arms again.

Moonlight dancers

Moonlight dancers  Jim Warren

Mother and Father are Home

    As a little child I dreamed of the Day
    They would be together again after the Divorce.
    One Christmas, while visiting Father
    He asked me to call Mother.
    That was as close as I came to hearing them laugh together.
    Until now.

Now, they are home with the Master.
They are with the Creator of All.
They dance acrossed the moonlight
They sing among the stars.
I am so happy they are Home now.
Free of all the scares, the scars, and now in their Sacred
Place…..I am very happy for them.
But, sometimes, I just want to touch their face.
So, I do.
I will serve with more determination.
I will tell the story of your love.
I will do this all in His name.
Till I see you in the dream garden.
Until I smell that sweet perfume
Of a Mother and a Father
Now in full Bloom.

I go among the stars.
I dance across the moonbeams.
I capture joy in the rain.
You know damn well I miss them.
I will walk through this pain.
I will live in the moment
Of their expanded dream.
I am rejoicing for their freedoms.
I am sad they had to go…
Before, I tell them one more time
I loved you so.
I do not miss your sorrows
All the pains that you went through.
You are my precious teachers.
I am wiser, stronger, and more loving
Because of you.

Could we meet tonight in the garden of Dreams
With the Master?
Can I please you just this one time?
Can I acknowledge that I picked you for my parents?
Can I say something open and freely
Can I tell you face-to-face?
That I love you my darling parents.
I am so glad you knew of the Master’s loving Grace.
Tonight, when we meet in the Dream garden
You will finally know.
That I love you.
I love you enough to let you go.
I will serve with more determination.
I will tell the story of your love.
I will do this all in His name.
Till I see you in the dream garden.
Until I smell that sweet perfume
Of a Mother and a Father
Now in full Bloom.

Go on with your Journey.
Go on with your rejoicing.
Be glad that you are Home.
I will see you in the moonlight.
I will see you in the stars.
I will hear your laughter in the voices of children
as they play.
I will live my life to honor you.
As I never have before.
I will bring you beauty in my thoughts
When I come to that far distant shore.
I will in that moment
When we have our next embrace
Be a reflection of your beauty
And that abiding Grace.
You were not perfect parents for the masses.
You were perfect parents for me.

I will serve with more determination.
I will tell the story of your love.
I will do this all in His name.
Till I see you in the dream garden.
Until I smell that sweet perfume
Of a Mother and a Father
Now in full Bloom.
You are orchids in His garden.
You were gardenias in mine.
I wonder in the raising of my parents
Did I show them a good Time?
Did I reflect their Beauty?
Did I show them the wisdom they imparted?
If not, then perhaps next lifetime
I will.

I will serve with more determination.
I will tell the story of your love.
I will do this all in His name.
Till I see you in the dream garden.
Until I smell that sweet perfume
Of a Mother and a Father
Now in full Bloom.

Song of the Virgin Maid.

I must go down to the sea, the Ocean
To the river
To the lake or a pond
I want to immerse myself in its cleansing.
I want to float in it all day long.

I want to be sustained
I want to be in love again.
I want to be re-connected to life.
I want the moments of holding you close.
I want to be your wife.

I want to re-connect with myself.
To take me out on a date.
I want to give me the best I can.
I want to be my own wife.

Gosh, I can hardly wait.

I must go down to the sea
To the river
To the lake or a pond
I want to immerse myself in its cleansing.
I want to float in it all day long.

I want to keep my heart open.
I want my heart to sing.
I want to jump in that wonderful
Ocean filled with Love and Mercy.
I want to hear my own name.

I want to see the Master.
I want to hear His Voice.
I want to be in His Service.
I want my life to Rejoice.

I must go down to the sea
To the river
To the lake or a pond
I want to immerse myself in its cleansing.
I want to float in it all day long.

I want to hear my own name.

I want the knowledges of the ages
That flowed on bended knee
I want the Master, the Creator
I want His Love to flow through me.

I want to keep my heart open.
I want my heart to sing.
I want to jump in that wonderful
Ocean filled with Love and Mercy.
I want to hear my own name.

I must go down to the sea
To the river
To the lake or a pond
I want to immerse myself in its cleansing.
I want to float in it all day long.

How can I put Heart in it?

Lenticular clouds in High Arctic photo montage...

Image via Wikipedia

English: Depiction of a soul being carried to ...

Image via Wikipedia

The Urn Burns (All Souls Procession)
Image by cobalt123 via Flickr

How can I put “heart” in it
When my heart is broken
From saying too many good-byes.


Some folks were wrenched from me.
Some were adopted out.
Some moved away.
Some forced themselves out of my realm
By their actions, abuses and scorn.


When I get past the anger
Will I just then quietly mourn?
Or will I take the high road
Basking in the bliss
Of knowing those who have translated
Are now safe at Home?


Can I be forgiving
Of those so full of scorn
Knowing that they “know not what they do”
Their friendship I no longer will mourn


Why am I so willing
To turn the other cheek
When I want to rip their guts out
For the harmful words they speak.


When do I know the “Is-ness”?
Am I living in the “now”?
How do I put my heart in it
When my heart is full of pain?


How long do I have to wear
Clothes when I want to dance in the rain?
I think I will jump the time-track
Collect my laughter, joy and peace
Release all this emotion
Of sorrow and pain
To give me the energy to make baby quilts again.


Soul is not is this sorrow
It is just the emotional self
So I perceive, dear Master,
I can choose to put this
Mind stuff on the shelf.


My Elders are with you now.
It is natural to feel alone.
I only need to focus
Keep my eyes on
The Purpose
The Goal
Sit and do nothing.
Bask on the Heavenly Throne
Let Spirit have the control.


I need to be in the moment
I need the Is-ness of now.
I want to be without an agenda
But I really don’t know how.
To live in the love and the mercy
To bask in knowingness NOW.


Grief is part of living.
Letting go is all I must do.
Acknowledge that life
Is just a series of lessons
That all things are a gift.


I can reach out to another
Who is still stuck in the fog.
I can be a ‘server to those whose serve’
Knowing that I, also, am one.
I can and will reconnect with life
I can live in the Heart of the Master
When my heart is too full of pain.
I can release the morass and the dross
I can be whole again.

Service is the key.
Giving love in all my actions.
Dedication in all I do.
Being mindful of another
Will help me see it through.


Thanks for this talk dear Master.
I am blessed to hear your Voice.
I can laugh through the tears
I can run through the years,
As long as I am listening to your Voice.


Let me always be listening
To the Sound of the Rain
Of Spirit as It washes over me
Making me whole again.


May I always be in the Spirit of the Fire.
May the Flames purify me.
May I serve with Desire.
May I give this day my Intention
To be all that I can be
Then I can put my Heart in It.
Then Soul can be truly free.

Father – dedicated to all the women who lost their Fathers…or daughters for whom their Fathers were not present………

Clouds

Image via Wikipedia

Several types of Cirrus clouds.
Image via Wikipedia
Lenticular clouds in High Arctic photo montage...

Image via Wikipedia

You have gone to see the angels.

You have gone to see your Lord.

You have gone to be with Friends.

While you were here you helped many folks.

While you were here you shared many jokes.

Now you are healing.

Now you can mend.

Now perhaps, you can be your own Best Friend.

You built and you worked.

You laughed and you cried.

You yodelled and sang.

You were full of pride.

I never saw you rest.

I never saw you just relax and be.

Now, perhaps you can.

Enjoy that wonderful morning

That worried you all your life.

“If heaven’s not my home…

Then Lord what will I do?”

You taught me to live in the moment.

You taught me that heaven is here now.

I know that you know now that friends and family

Are our greatest asset.

Give Bonnie a kiss and Mother a hug.

Tell your sweet Mother hello.

Enjoy the Sunlight of the Spirit.

Let it heal you and renew.

May I learn the lessons you taught me.

May I always be gentle and kind.

May I love you unconditionally.

May I leave the past far behind.

I thank you for being my Father,

My teacher and my friend.

Thanks for my wonderful siblings.

Thanks for your wonderful life

Thanks for your anger and resentments

They taught me to think things through.

Thanks for teaching me about the Master.

I know He’s there with you.

Time for Letting Go

He said his father died
Two hours before the meeting.

(I know that if my Father had just died that
I would not have had the strength to be at a meeting.)

I caught my breath.
I could not breathe.

(I heard another voice saying
“Your Father has just died.”)

I am not in that place that I need
to be in to hear those words.

I ran.
(After I ensured that he was safe with the men.)

I cried and got a ride home with the women..
I wanted to call my Dad
I wanted to say

“Don’t die till I get there.
I am coming home to help you heal
I am coming home to forgive you
I need you to have that forgiveness
before I let you go.”

Then I heard the song on the radio
“You can let go now, Daddy”

My prayer is that I will be
healed and whole enough to be there
when it is time to let you go.

“I release ,you, dear Daddy
To your Heavenly Father up above.
I let you go to be with Him
Kind sir, and I let you go with love.

Your loving daughter,
the addict in recovery.