Hump day….surrender and forgiveness

Surrender to things in love

Gives me strength from God above….

It does not mean that I can be controlled.

It does not mean there is not grief to be consoled.

It does not mean that the policies and procedures by which you thrive

Are to be my mandate on how and why I will conduct myself and be alive.

I forgive myself for loving you so deeply because it was a good lesson.

Now I am waiting for the healing to happen cause I sure need the blessin’.

My home is a palace…a temple of Praise…dedicated to Justin….

My home is a palace,

A temple of praise.

A place of worship,

A portal of joy.

A launching pad

‘Tis my jumping off place

I embrace and am renewed

I bask in the Master’s grace.

I have sunlight enough

To flood over my face.

The moonlight calls me

To its sweet embrace.

The serenity, the safety

the sensuousness of the place

Often has me blushing

With enjoyment of this space.

I live among the joyful.

I live among the free.

I live with joy and laughter.

Come over one day for tea.

My home is a palace,

A temple of praise.

A place of worship,

A portal of joy.

I thrive on the abundance.

I move within the song.

I wish I had the time

To be here in my palace

All day long.

I would fluff up my pillows.

I would turn the music down low.

I would put my feet up.

I would read or relax.

I would make the baby quilt.

I would paint my picture.

Or draw.

I would never have to go to work

I would not have to be a part of the maw.

I would sit and watch the birds

As they play among the trees.

Alas, I have my obligations…

I have clothes to mend.

A pot tea is waiting

While I eat bannock with my friend.

My home is a palace,

A temple of praise.

A place of worship,

A portal of joy.

Standing in the Moment

Standing in the Moment
I can forever see.
The meteor shower takes me home
Beyond eternity.
Beyond this moment.
Beyond this time.
This bridge across forever
Takes me home to stay amist the stars
My loved Ones are are all waiting and watching
On that far distance shore.
Standing here in the Moment
I do not feel any more pain.
My heart is full of laughter
As I embrace the gentle rain.
I am Standing in the Moment
I can almost feel God’s grace.
I do not want to leave there…
But then, I turn and see your face.
I have loved you for forever.
Your beloved I will gladly me.
I see you smile.
You reach out your hand.
Then I awaken.
Oh, love I want you to know.
Standing here in the Moment.
My love for you just grows.
I do not want to just love you in the dreamscape.
I want to be yours for goodness sake.

The Beloved of my Beloved

How rare it is to find
To find a woman
That I do not mind
Being
The Beloved of my Beloved.

She understands him.
She listens to him.
She enjoys him.
She will be getting a wonderful life.
When they make their vows and
She is his new wife.

I have loved him from forever.
This lifetime it was not meant to be.
Now I embrace the darling lady
Her wisdom I gladily see.

In December for her Christmas gift.
I will give him a divorce.
She can then embrace him always.
I honour the Beloved of my Beloved.

She makes my heart very glad.
She laughs with him and loves him.
She shows me he was not “so bad”.
I will always be grateful to
The Beloved of my Beloved.

I thank them both.
I wish them well.
I really think that “she is swell”.
The Beloved of my Beloved.

Song of the Virgin Maid.

I must go down to the sea, the Ocean
To the river
To the lake or a pond
I want to immerse myself in its cleansing.
I want to float in it all day long.

I want to be sustained
I want to be in love again.
I want to be re-connected to life.
I want the moments of holding you close.
I want to be your wife.

I want to re-connect with myself.
To take me out on a date.
I want to give me the best I can.
I want to be my own wife.

Gosh, I can hardly wait.

I must go down to the sea
To the river
To the lake or a pond
I want to immerse myself in its cleansing.
I want to float in it all day long.

I want to keep my heart open.
I want my heart to sing.
I want to jump in that wonderful
Ocean filled with Love and Mercy.
I want to hear my own name.

I want to see the Master.
I want to hear His Voice.
I want to be in His Service.
I want my life to Rejoice.

I must go down to the sea
To the river
To the lake or a pond
I want to immerse myself in its cleansing.
I want to float in it all day long.

I want to hear my own name.

I want the knowledges of the ages
That flowed on bended knee
I want the Master, the Creator
I want His Love to flow through me.

I want to keep my heart open.
I want my heart to sing.
I want to jump in that wonderful
Ocean filled with Love and Mercy.
I want to hear my own name.

I must go down to the sea
To the river
To the lake or a pond
I want to immerse myself in its cleansing.
I want to float in it all day long.

The Crone and the crow Revision July 2008

English: House Crow മലയാളം: പേനക്കാക്ക

Image via Wikipedia

In memories eyes
She wondered why the crow had never taken
Her on the trip she so dearly needed.
The answer now was clear.
“You cannot enjoy the heavenly Throne
If you don’t find heaven here.”
The living in the moment
Is not a great surprise
Just learn to see the Master
In everything before your eyes.”
The following was written in grief from losing Mother.
I wanted to be with her.
Now I know she wants me to be here.
“Flying on my own.”

She watched the crow flying free.

He watched her sitting letting life be.

The crow was busying building a nest

It was, oh, so very tired.

The crow had no time to rest.

The crone was sitting in the parlour

Singing a song to the crow.

She watched its busy movements.

She watched it come and go.

It took the twigs.

It took the string.

It took all it could to survive.

“Oh dear crow

Who flies so high

How you must enjoy your life

You have your hearts desire.

I am weak and old and frail.

I sit here alone by the fire.

How I long to fly beyond the veil.

I have had my loves.

I have had my life.

The memories I have known.

But just for now,

I would like to crawl up on your back

And fly to heaven’s throne.

Dear crow, I would give you a house

To raise your family.

Just do this one little thing for me.

Take me on your shoulders.

Take me to the Master’s feet.

I want my Soul to fly free.”

The crow had no time to hear the song.

The woman cried alone.

When the nest was built

There were the babies to feed.

The crow was exhausted from morning till night.

It never heard  the lonely crone.

It never knew it’s plight.

Towards the end of summer

The crone was working in her yard

She shook her fist towards the empty nest.

“Oh dear crow

Who flies so high

How you must enjoy your life

You have your hearts desire.

I am weak and old and frail.

Cape Crow

Image via Wikipedia

I sit here alone by the fire.

How I long to fly beyond the veil.

I have had my loves.

I have had my life.

The memories I have known.

But just for now,

I would like to crawl up on your back

And fly to heaven’s throne.

Dear crow, I would give you a house

To raise your family.

Just do this one little thing for me.

Take me on your shoulders.

Take me to the Master’s feet.

I want my Soul to fly free.”

The crow was no longer there to hear the song.

Why pick the jerk?


"Trees are the earth's endless effort to ...

Image by turtlemom4bacon via Flickr

 

Two trees
Image via Wikipedia

 


 

 

Contemplation
Image via Wikipedia

 

 


Why does the talented vibrant woman
pick the jerk?

Could it be he is compassionate when there is no audience?

Could it be he is Mr Right?

Could it be he is “Mr-Right-Now?

There are many reasons to pick the jerk

I used them all.

I allowed myself to be used by them.

I value myself today.

I was a jerk to myself to not adhere to the warnings.
I was so busy enjoying the warmings.

Now,it is a narrower path…more serene…sometimes filled with memories of the jerk.

Perhaps, I picked them for the adventure.

Perhaps, I will open my eyes instead of my thighs next time.

Or perhaps I have learned the lessons.
Now, I can stand alone with the Creator.
Now, I can stand up for myself.
Now, I can be alone with the Alone.

I will continue my affair with all of life…
All my life.

I will take the risk.
I will believe in romance.
I will pick the jerk.
Given half the chance…
Oh, being a crone is a marvelous time.
There are lessons to learn.
All of them mine.

Dirt

The girl’s were getting together to “dish the dirt

I thought they would be planting seeds or something.

They were.

They were gossiping…seeds of ‘dirt’about another Soul.

When day is done they put our ashes in dirt.

We cleanse our Soul to release the dirt.

We pray.

Do our step work and take the dirt

To our sponsor and release to our Higher Power.

When “we trust God, clean house and help others”

We are releasing  the dirt.

I find the more I release the dirt, guilt and shame of my past

The cleaner my Soul,  my house and my actions.

I can move on from that angry place and plant seeds in dirt for healing

Make a garden with friends.

Plant some courage.

Plant some hope.

Plant some love.

In dirt.